UN-MASKED

When looking up word Mask I found a few interesting definitions. Here are just a few:
MASK
A covering worn on the face to conceal one's identity.

A covering, as of cloth, that has openings for the eyes, entirely or partly conceals the face.

A grotesque or comical representation of a face, worn especially to frighten or amuse.
A protective covering for the face or head.

It's pretty funny how when I look at these definitions I see myself in all of them. I guess that means I'm walking around with my own mask...or dare I say maskS.

Let's take a look at each definition one by one. Mask- a covering on the face to conceal one's identity. Press the pause button real quick...to conceal one's identity? If I sit down and ask myself,  Diana who are you...I don't think I would be able to answer that accurately most of us will answer with adjectives or nouns like..."oh I'm a mom, a teacher, a nurse, I'm a risk taker, a go getter"...ect. Also, one of  my ultimate favorites ..."I am a child of God". Now don't get me wrong all these are great characteristics and traits...and yes we do identify ourselves in Christ...but does that make me, me? I mean really who am I? If I don't really know who I am I can wear any mask I want and conceal the real me. I can wear my "child of God mask" for everyone to see but behind that mask is a confused broken woman, wondering am I really his child, if so why don't I feel part of his family. Maybe I invest all my time in teaching and I wear my teaching mask all the time because I don't feel like I can identify with anything or anyone else? What's your mask? When it comes to my identity I have a few good ones, because no one wants to know the real person behind it right? What would people think if they say Diana who are you? And I say well, I'm a selfish liar, manipulator, fearful insecure woman with rejection issues, I hurt people to protect myself. I'm a grudge holder, people pleaser, stab you in the back and still smile in your face type of girl."  While all those thing could be true YOU must never know that so I'll just go back to my "child of God" mask and call it a day right? Something to think about.

Lets look at definition #2... Mask- A covering, as of cloth, that has openings for the eyes, entirely or partly conceals the face. This definition is clever. "opening for eyes" hence I can see you but you cannot see all of me. My biggest advantage of wearing a mask is, that I can see right through YOURS.  Even if you don't have a mask I can see all your flaws...but guess what? I wont let you see mine and even when you do my mask will let me feel as if you are wrong and I'm right. A mask will allow you to see without being seen. It would allow you to see others faults, but when you look in the mirror yours are covered...Hence, taking the spec of dust out of someones eye becomes easier than taking the big old plank out of yours.

Definitions #3 is my favorite...Mask - A grotesque or comical representation of a face, worn especially to frighten or amuse. I love it when people tell me, you know Diana, when I first met you I thought you were so mean but once I got to know you I realized you so sweet :) ...I don't quite know how to take that sometimes. But it happens so frequently I guess i just got used to it. Could it be that past hurts and pains have created such a fear that upon meeting people my "grotesque" mask comes on to keep potential hurts away. Could my fear of more rejection cause me to unconsciously scare even good people away? What about the "amuse" part? This I know I'm good at. I can make a joke out of anything. Why? Because if your laughing at me your not hurting me, If you laugh it may seem like I'm full of laughs, and can't possibly be miserable inside right?

Lastly, Definition #4  Mask- A protective covering for the face or head. How profound...a "protective covering." Let's face it, our masks ultimate purpose is usually to keep ourselves safe. If I don't let you in, you won't hurt me, and If I happen to let you in, don't think for one moment I'm gonna show you the real me. With a mask your protected. How about this one, well if I tell her how I really feel, she may leave me, or If  I share my struggles and issues they will judge me.If I let her know I miss her then I'll seem weaker than her. So what do we do? We wear our "happy masks", our "I don't need you masks", our "praise the Lord God Bless you sister masks"...there are so many. But the funny thing is, in wearing all these masks we are dying inside. What was meant to protect us is now causing us to become bitter, anxious, discontent individuals, who cries on the inside are overshadowed by our masks on the outside. Eventually, each Mask begins to play a major role in our life... so much so, that dependencies on these masks may cause us to not comprehend the role Christ should have  in our  life. Sadly, what ultimately happens is, the one who is suppose to play the main lead... doesn't even  make it as an extra. 

Image Quality

In Photography now a days a picture is taken normally with a digital or DSLR camera. The image is automatically portrayed on the view screen.  It's wonderful and quick. Not only that, but the image is then downloaded onto a computer screen and edited and retouched for further enhancement.  Wonderful work is then produced with proper editing and processing. Awesome right? But here is the downfall of all this. Do you know what I realized? The more you edit a photo the more compressed it can become, and as it becomes more and more compressed the actual quality of that once raw image decreases. 

Let's now look at old school photography.  Here, the picture is taken and placed on film.  You cannot see the image you took. However you are trusting that it's there. Once the photos are taken, the film is then taken out to be developed. . . and where do they develop these photos? ...that's right, in a dark room.  The result... a simple image is produced, and it may not be as fancy and bright as an edited photo, but here is the key. The quality of the image is far greater.

Ok, so what does this have to do anything right? Well as I am exploring the journey of unmasking, I think it's critical to understand little messages and analogies that pop into my head every now and then...and share them with you!...Your Welcome.

When we are born again, there are things planted in us that need developing.  Such as faith. When we receive Christ the seed is planted, but it is up to us as to how much we let it grow. Now we can be like our nice fancy DSLR cameras that display it all on the screen where we can see, and if we don't like what we see no worries...we can edit and manipulate the image to our liking.  Yet, all the while we will make an end result that has less quality than when it started. This is kind of like our faith with God right? Let's face it, we gotta see everything like an image on a screen to believe it. In life we manipulate and try to fix situations on our own skill and strength, and end up with a quality of life that may meet our own expectations but are far below the standards and quality of life that God had planned for us. 

But let's look at the old school film cameras. Where is the image developed? .... in the dark. Once you take the photo you cant even see the end result until it is processed and developed in those dark places. How inconvenient is that! Kind of like our faith in God. You see, if we saw everything that was ahead of us; there will be no need for faith.  Not only that, but we may not be ready for what is ahead. That is why those dark places where we cant see a thing and those times where life seems so unstable, and waiting for an answer or result seems so long and unbearable....those are the times,  when our faith is developed most. It leaves out room for our own decisions, and manipulations, and totally relies on God for an end result.  And the beauty of this process is that although our faith was developed through dark places in our  life, the quality of our future far outweighs anything we could have ever pictured for ourselves.

Thomas Mask

¹³ Moses answered the people, “Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. ¹⁴ The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” Exodus 14:13,14

In the book of Exodus, the Israelites were leaving Egypt and heading towards their promise land.  But right before they reached the red sea there was Pharaoh and the Egyptians coming after them one more time. Imagine their thoughts. They must have been thinking, what on earth is God doing? He completes all these miraculous signs and victories in Egypt only to have us chased after and killed? ...Isn't that like life as we know it? One day we pay off a major hospital bill just barely having enough money left to buy a gallon of milk...and then all of a sudden the car breaks down.What are our thoughts? "Well, if its not one thing it's another!." I know I've said that many times. I often feel bad for the Israelites in the old testament. I mean really, when you think about it, it was one thing after another...I would have been grumbling too. When reading Exodus, it makes me ask God why? Why on earth did you put these people through all this. Why on earth did it take them 40 years for an 11 day journey for crying out loud! The truth is, many of us know the answer to that...we just don't like it. It took these people 40 years because they learned their lessons, but made no long term changes in their lives.God had a promised land waiting for them but he couldn't give it to them if every time they faced hardships they ran to sin, and idols. They didn't trust him completely, so they did what made them feel good, they tried to take their problems into their own hands and when they did, they made a mess. Why do you think God said to them, "save only enough Manna for one day", and when those who didn't listen stored more than they should, maggots came and infested the extra manna! Um...can you say Eww.  So, what was the point of that? Simple, God wanted to show his people he would provide what they needed but they had to trust him on a day to day basis. Any time we try to go the extra mile because we don't think God will come through, we tend to make a mess. God just want us to simply trust, even when we don't see the provisions for the future, he wants us to trust. Because trust is the fuel that pushes God to move.

So with that being said...what on earth is a Thomas Mask? That my friends, is the Mask I wear when my trust for God is on empty. When I want to run the engine of life on my own strength and power. The Thomas Mask will cause one to try and try and stress out, wondering why the heck am I getting nowhere! Let's face it... we are getting no where because we are working with an empty tank. Our tank need to be full because once again trust is the fuel that pushes God to move.  My Thomas Mask was named after one of Jesus' down to earth disciples, who in my opinion is criticized more than he should be, Mr " Doubting Thomas". All Thomas did was ask Jesus to prove he really was who he said he was, by showing him his pierced hands and feet...when Jesus appeared to his disciples after he resurrected. You know what, knowing me I might have done the same thing. Why? Let's face it...unless we see it, it's hard to believe it. Unless I know what tomorrow holds I can't have any peace. Unless I get to see this money right now I'm not gonna stop worrying about these bills. So sorry God I'm gonna have to put my Thomas Mask on, and try to work this problem out some how without you because you are taking way too long to show yourself. My Thomas Mask makes me wrestle with stress, thoughts and ideas, without reaching a real solution.

So, what would happen if I removed my Thomas Mask? What would I find underneath? Most likely underneath our Thomas Masks are glimpse's of hope...and with hope, trust follows, and with trust our faith develops, and with that faith comes a life that  may not be problem free, but rather free from the problem's hold  on me.

Fear Mask

Psalm 27:1-5

The LORD is my light and my salvation—
   whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life—  of whom shall I be afraid?

 ² When the wicked advance against me    to devour^[a] me, it is my enemies and my foes
   who will stumble and fall. ³ Though an army besiege me,    my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,    even then I will be confident. ⁴ One thing I ask from the LORD,
   this only do I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD    all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the LORD    and to seek him in his temple. ⁵ For in the day of trouble
   he will keep me safe in his dwelling; he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent    and set me high upon a rock. 

Suppose you had the biggest strongest kid in school walking by your side everywhere you go. He walks with you in the hallways, to your locker, even walks you to lunch. Having this; would you  be afraid of potential bullies? Would a bully try to mess with you when the big kid is by your side? Probably not...but that bully would most likely wait for an opportunity to come at you when your big friend is not around. So what strategy could he use? He could probably use every opportunity he gets to cause you to walk away from your robust pal and right into his territory. 

Same works for the spiritual realm. There is one Mask till this day, I have a problem taking off. It's my Fearful Mask. My fearful Mask will tell me, "If God protects, why did he let your friend die at an early age."  "If God  protects why would he allow an abuser to hurt an innocent child?" "Why would he allow a Missionary in Africa be killed and beaten for spreading the gospel."  Why? You know what...I have no idea why...I cannot think of one good answer for any of those questions. I only have facts. The fact is we live in a fallen world, with fallen people; and if God prevented every bad thing from happening that would be great. The truth is however, he doesn't ...so what? does he pick and choose who to save? That's not fair right? So if that's the case I don't think I want to step out and do big things because God is unfair and unjust, and I'm just  going to put my Fearful Mask back on and crawl in my little  corner and eat bon bons...right?- Do you know what just happened now my friend? The bully was able to lure me away from my big protecting pal, and I'm right in his territory.

Truthfully speaking, the Fearful Mask may take a lifetime to take off completely. When my Fearful Mask is on I am able to make excuses for not achieving certain dream and goals. My Fearful Mask will hold me back from new relationships, new places, new opportunities. My Fearful Mask will stop me from letting go of past hurts and pains.  When I shake my fist at God and completely disregard the things he would like me to do, just because I am fearful. It's like me turning to that strong protective pal, and saying "I'm gonna go in that dark alley alone without you, because you might let me down!" 

Let's try to remove our Fearful Masks today. For one day at a time. Let's walk hand in hand with our strong Robust friend and say, "hey, I don't know whats gonna happen today but I'm glad your by my side."

Weak Mask

Philippians 4:13
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Every now and then, I hear the words, "Diana, you are stronger than you think." Sometimes I wish I heard these words more often. It's so easy for me to put a particular mask on, and it really never dawned on me tilll earlier today what that mask was. Do you know that it is a lot easier to be weak, than strong...However, it's a lot harder to live weak than live strong. What do I mean? You may say. Well let me put it to you this way...As I head down this new journey of self  reflection, I'm realizing something. I have a "Weak Mask." This mask entitles me to make excuses for my bad behavior, it grants me permission to blame others for my own unhappiness, and it let's me know everyday, that if this is too hard, it must not be of God.

I'm going to be very frank...taking off my weak mask will cause great discomfort. You know I  never dreamed as a little girl that one day I would marry a divorced man, with two children, and an ex-wife who will always be in the picture. I never went up to my girlfriends and said one day my prince will come and he will be short, tattooed, and have tons of baggage!  Nope never once said this. Of course not! Who would want this right? Well guess what I realized today. God's plans are not always our plans. My Weak Mask will tell me different.  You know what my Weak Mask would say? It would say something like this..."Diana you have waited far too long for a Boaz, you don't need this, your settling for a Bozo instead." My weak mask will listen to comments and ideas from other individuals rather than God.   "My Weak Mask will tell me "you can't possibly love children that are not yours." My Weak Mask will cause me to see whats in front of me as a potential disaster, and tempt me to walk...no run, away. 

Now don't get me wrong...this type of relationship is definitely not for everyone. And if Jesus Christ is not in the center of it;  that potential disaster will become a quick reality. But let's just say for a quick instance that I take my Weak Mask off for a bit...what woman do you think will be hiding under it? Well, underneath that heavy mask of weakness lies a strong warrior princess just waiting to come out and fight. This woman knows that God's strength is made perfect in her weaknesses. She knows that deep inside she can love, and she can endure a life that is different from what she had planned. She can get back up from hurts and pains and look forward into a new horizon full of hope and a promised future.  In taking off her Weak Mask she can make a decision to look at who God placed in her path and say this is a gift God gave especially to me. Why? Because He knew I was strong enough to handle it. This strength will allow me to see that my Boaz is not a Bozo, in fact he is the perfect fit to my puzzle. It would show me that the hardships I face now will only strengthen me, and open the door for opportunity to give hope to those who can't seem to take off their own Weak mask.  This strength will cause me to see blessings in the midst of Storms. It will cause me to see the man of God in front of me as the precious Jewel he really is.