Weak Mask

Philippians 4:13
I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Every now and then, I hear the words, "Diana, you are stronger than you think." Sometimes I wish I heard these words more often. It's so easy for me to put a particular mask on, and it really never dawned on me tilll earlier today what that mask was. Do you know that it is a lot easier to be weak, than strong...However, it's a lot harder to live weak than live strong. What do I mean? You may say. Well let me put it to you this way...As I head down this new journey of self  reflection, I'm realizing something. I have a "Weak Mask." This mask entitles me to make excuses for my bad behavior, it grants me permission to blame others for my own unhappiness, and it let's me know everyday, that if this is too hard, it must not be of God.

I'm going to be very frank...taking off my weak mask will cause great discomfort. You know I  never dreamed as a little girl that one day I would marry a divorced man, with two children, and an ex-wife who will always be in the picture. I never went up to my girlfriends and said one day my prince will come and he will be short, tattooed, and have tons of baggage!  Nope never once said this. Of course not! Who would want this right? Well guess what I realized today. God's plans are not always our plans. My Weak Mask will tell me different.  You know what my Weak Mask would say? It would say something like this..."Diana you have waited far too long for a Boaz, you don't need this, your settling for a Bozo instead." My weak mask will listen to comments and ideas from other individuals rather than God.   "My Weak Mask will tell me "you can't possibly love children that are not yours." My Weak Mask will cause me to see whats in front of me as a potential disaster, and tempt me to walk...no run, away. 

Now don't get me wrong...this type of relationship is definitely not for everyone. And if Jesus Christ is not in the center of it;  that potential disaster will become a quick reality. But let's just say for a quick instance that I take my Weak Mask off for a bit...what woman do you think will be hiding under it? Well, underneath that heavy mask of weakness lies a strong warrior princess just waiting to come out and fight. This woman knows that God's strength is made perfect in her weaknesses. She knows that deep inside she can love, and she can endure a life that is different from what she had planned. She can get back up from hurts and pains and look forward into a new horizon full of hope and a promised future.  In taking off her Weak Mask she can make a decision to look at who God placed in her path and say this is a gift God gave especially to me. Why? Because He knew I was strong enough to handle it. This strength will allow me to see that my Boaz is not a Bozo, in fact he is the perfect fit to my puzzle. It would show me that the hardships I face now will only strengthen me, and open the door for opportunity to give hope to those who can't seem to take off their own Weak mask.  This strength will cause me to see blessings in the midst of Storms. It will cause me to see the man of God in front of me as the precious Jewel he really is.